New discovery

A few weeks ago, I stumbled onto a website, www.ChangingCourse.com. This website was exactly what I needed to see at the time since I was feeling downtrodden and discouraged once again about how I was going to get out of debt. In my opinion, the only way to get out of debt was to find a new job that paid more. Makes sense right? Well, what I found on www.ChangingCourse.com gave me such encouragement that maybe there was another way and that I could actually enjoy myself along the way. What I found was an e-book entitled Finding Your True Calling: The Handbook For People Who Still Don't Know What They Want To Be "When They Grow Up" But Can't Wait To Find Out by Valerie Young. I thought, "This book was written for me!". For whatever reason, although I suspect it had something to do with letting my head take over instead of my heart, I didn't immediately purchase it but read more about it first. Finally, today I bought the book and have started to read it. It sounds fantastic and I can't wait to finish it and really put it to use!

You see, I'm one of those people who did extremely well in school, particularly in secondary school. I am in fact a Governor General's medal winner from high school so naturally, everyone I grew up with expected that I would do well in life. Well, that's not exactly the case. School was easy for me since I was really good at memorizing. I couldn't apply the theories in a practical sense but I knew the background inside out. I always liked school but I never knew what I wanted to do once it was over. So, since I got involved with the school environmental group in my Grade 12 year, I decided why not take Environmental Science at university. So that's what I did with my partial scholarship in hand. However, after two years of struggling with material I didn't understand and professors who couldn't care less whether you passed their class or not, I decided to leave university. I knew I couldn't just give up altogether so I wound up at a tech school and completed my diploma in Environmental Engineering Technology in the next 2.5 years. I figured that it would be such a waste not to use my two years of university somehow so that's why I stayed in the environmental field. I was hired straight out of school by an environmental consulting firm where I still work today.

As much as I find the environmental field interesting and very important for future generations, it's not a particular passion of mine. Working for the same company in various roles for the past six years has certainly shown me that. Not to mention that it has made me question my sanity and my morals on more than one occasion. Perhaps all companies are like this, but I've never been so frustrated in all my life by the blatant promotion of incompetent slackers while the real workers are treated like garbage. Needless to say, I haven't enjoyed working here in quite some time.

I had my chances to leave, once in particular nearly 3.5 years ago. Why I didn't go then is beyond me but I have a feeling it had something to do with money. I'm sure that I figured I wouldn't get paid nearly as much as I was already being paid if I switched jobs. I wasn't interested in any more schooling for a while (if ever again) and so I stayed. I think about that moment every so often and wonder why I didn't just bite the bullet and go for it. I guess the thought of the Government of Canada coming after me if I missed just one student loan payment was a hard image to overcome.

That's why finding this e-book was perfect timing for me. One thing I know for sure; there's nothing I will read in the book that will make me feel any worse about my current situation than I already do. So with renewed faith in myself and my ability to live my dreams, I venture forth into learning even more about who I really am.